


Texas Lucas

by artsyspikedhair



Category: Girl Meets World
Genre: Episode: s03e01 Girl Meets High School Part 1, Gen, Mentions of Mental Hospitalization, Past Suicide Attempt, Self-Destruction, Self-Harm, Threats of Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-22
Updated: 2016-06-22
Packaged: 2018-07-16 16:10:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 893
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7274812
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/artsyspikedhair/pseuds/artsyspikedhair
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"I gotta... This is when he, you know, does stuff."</p>
            </blockquote>





	Texas Lucas

Zay liked to think he knew his new friends pretty well. He liked Riley, and Maya, and Farkle, and even Smackle was beginning to grow on him. But when Riley said Lucas would get killed on the football team, Zay thought he knew where this was heading. And, Zay, though he often didn't act like it, was nothing if not serious about his friends. He had his own beliefs about leaving people - his mom left when he was ten and he immediately began befriending the wrong people - but Zay knew he would end up following Lucas. 

"I gotta... This is when he, you know, does stuff." Zay didn't know if they knew. Zay didn't know if there had been a time before he came to New York where a stupid fight or disapproving teacher had led Lucas to become his Texas self, but he knew that friends that insult Lucas Friar, even in the name of their beliefs, were friends that broke Lucas Friar. And Zay had to make sure Lucas didn't end up destroying himself again. 

Zay knew they thought Texas Lucas was violent, and that was the truth. Lucas in Texas beat people up for messing with his friends. Lucas had hurt people in Zay's defense, sure, but he also hurt people because he needed to feel pain and this loser was dumb enough to fight back. But he wasn't sure if they really knew Texas Lucas at all, because in New York Lucas was calm and he was happy enough with his friends. In New York, Lucas could tell people his secrets, because they don't judge. Zay had always been open about who he was, and while he ended up with bloodied noses and bruised shoulders, he found embracing his feminine side was far better than what Lucas did. Texas Lucas was a boy who had broken from the pressure of sports and masculinity, a boy who wasn't allowed to want to be a veterinarian. Lucas did things when he was angry and hurt, and in this instant, Riley had hurt him. 

Zay found Lucas in the school courtyard. He ran towards him, grateful the boy wasn't beating someone else up, but terrified he was beating himself up. The first thing Lucas said was "I want to kill her." 

The first thing Zay said was "No, you don't." Zay had a quiet wisdom, and knew Lucas wasn't really mad at Riley. 

"Nah, you're right." Lucas said that with his trademark grin, but then he became dark again. "I want to kill myself." 

"Dude, you know she didn't mean anything by it-" Zay stopped as he comprehended what Lucas had just said. "No. Lucas, we are not doing that again, man. It didn't work. You ended up in a mental hospital for a year, and God knows what happened seriously messed me up. I am not letting you almost die again just because your first day of high school's been ruined. You're upset, I get it, but you can't keep on going to that as your answer every time." 

"I know. I'm sorry. I shouldn't get suicidal just because Riley friggin Matthews thinks I'll get killed on the football team." 

"There's no need to apologize, man. We both know the only one getting killed on the football team is me." Lucas laughed. Then there was a long pause as Lucas tried to figure out how to acknowledge what he'd done before Zay found him. He eventually discovered the words. 

"You know, before you got here, I fucked up." 

"I guessed as much. Can I see? I've got band-aids in my bag." 

Lucas rolled up his sleeve, where a small trail of shallow cuts quietly bled on his wrist. They were on top of a scar, which had been from the last time he had broken down and done this, almost three years ago. It was after the suicide attempt, when his parents informed him he'd have to go to the hospital. That cut had been long and deep and he had done it with a pair of shears. This he'd done with a pin Farkle impulsively given him. Zay cleaned the wound up with the stuff from the first aid kit in his backpack and put a band-aid on it. 

"You're not going to tell anyone about this, right?" Lucas asked this because he was genuinely scared. When adults knew what a screw-up he was, they would stop trusting him and a lot of the time their concern came off as pity and Lucas just wanted to make up with his friends but he couldn't. He knew he was right about this. 

"No, Lucas. I promised you I'd never get you locked up again, and I intend to keep that promise." 

"So now what?" 

"Now we skip math class to go explore the school." 

"I'm in." Lucas said, because he wasn't always Lucas the Good, and he was so great at math that missing class on the first day wouldn't matter much anyway.

Later that day, Lucas would look at his wrist as Farkle called to ask about going to Topanga's. He would think about the anger he had running through his veins, and he would decide to do the right thing. He decided to do his homework at home, with Zay by his side to stop him from being impulsive. 


End file.
